I'll Forget You
by Golden Gypsy
Summary: The shadows leaned over his face as he lay in bed and sighed. He closed his eyes and tried his hardest to not remember. To forget.


Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.

AN: Okay everybody, I'm still alive, ha ha, big surprise. Anyway, I was listening to the music from the Scarlet Pimpernel and I could NOT resist this song. It just…..spoke to me! -laughs at self- No really, the Scarlet Pimpernel has some of the COOLEST music, and I just happened to really really think this song fit with this story. You must all go download all the music from the Scarlet Pimpernel! Now! Go! But especially download The Riddle. It is by far the coolest song known to man. –nods wisely- Anywho, I hope you enjoy the story. Have a wonderful fantastic and amazingly super uber cool day!

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I'll Forget You

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I'll forget you

The more you stay inside of me

The weaker I grow

I'll forget you

Spot twisted the cap in his hands. Its gray fabric was rough against his skin, and he set it aside on the small wooden desk beside him. A small billowing cloud of dust sprang free from the surface of the desk, and it lifted before settling back around the hat.

It had been a beautiful day. The sun had been shining as it bled its bright majesty over the small gathering of people outside the church, reflecting off of the twin gold plated rings.

Spot moved to his window, into view of the sun where he could watch the various newsboys jump into the river from the docks. The light cast a false warmth over him and he retreated to the shadows, lying back on the dirty mattress that was only half covered by a sheet; his twisting and turning in the night had ripped it partly off.

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Tomorrow I'll return and let you go

I'll grow colder

I'll lose myself

In anything but you now

For there is nothing I can do now

But forget

He stared up at his ceiling, looking but not really seeing. It was supposed to be a joyous occasion, he knew. But that morning one week ago as he had stood in front of all the people that meant everything to him, he had found it so hard to pretend. 

There was a cut on his tongue where he had bitten down so hard it drew blood. His eyes closed and he willed his mind to stop thinking, to go numb. To forget.

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I'll forget you

I won't remember

Arms that pulled me in soft and slow

I'll forget you

That has to be a way

To let you go

A bitter smile flickered across his lips as his mind failed miserably and brought back pleasant memories of warm embraces that had occurred right on the very place he was resting. For a moment he let himself be immersed in the sweet pain of nostalgia.

With a groan he rolled over onto his stomach and pushed away the images that had flickered so seductively in front of his face. Briefly, a wicked smile crossed his face as he remembered what this position reminded him of.

The smile faded as quickly as it had come, and he frowned as the sound of bells filled his ears. Happy melodic bells that pulled at his heartstrings and made the great emptiness inside him grow until he thought he could bare it no longer.

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No more shadows

No dreams of leaning in the dark

Above you I will forget how much

I love you

Any day

He pulled his pillow over his head and sighed into the mattress beneath him. Painfully, he allowed his mind to recall that day; the day his life had simply ceased to be.

The church was small, and the rays of sun had filtered in through the stain glass windows, covering the people inside with a surreal glow.

The ceremony had been quick and plain. The present pocketbooks could not afford extravagance.

Her dress had been modest, but its simple elegance had angered him. He hated her for what she was taking from him. But he hated her even more for never knowing that she took it.

When the vows were said it took all his self-control not to leave the room. The look in her eyes was enough to make him ill. She was so trusting, so loving, and yet so blissfully ignorant of her partner's suffering.

The smile that had become plastered on her face grew as the small gold looking band was slipped onto her finger and Spot was forced to look away. It was ripping him apart. He couldn't watch anymore. He left as soon service ended.

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Every evening shivers

With the chance that you are near

And every morning

Whispers, "he is here"

When he had awoken the next morning a cold sweat had covered his body and beads of liquid had run down the pale exterior of his skin.

Spot could remember looking around expectantly, as if his love had secretly entered his room that night, not being able to bear the binding ritual that had taken place the morning before.

But no one had been there. Spot grimaced as the memory of that morning filled him. It had been so cold that in that instant he felt he couldn't breathe. A great numbness had crawled through his blood and had traveled the expanse of his entire body.

__

Each moment is a fight

Not to rush into your life

Not to move closer

But to make you disappear

He had wanted so badly to go to their new home, to tell her the truth, to steal his love away and never be alone again.

Spot tugged the pillow down harder over his head. He could feel that sensation itching over him again, pulling on his legs, telling him to run to them, to right the horrible wrong that was sealed that fateful morning with one meaningless kiss.

__

I'll forget you

I've got to find

The strength to pull away from

Your glow

I'll forget you

Inhaling slowly he let the feeling slide away, and the muscles he had tensed relaxed slowly. But as hard as he tried, as much as he pushed, he could not let the image of that damn kiss out of his head.

Had it all been a lie? Every moment they had shared, every touch, every kiss; somehow all erased, gone, as if they had never even existed?

A sense of agony crept into his heart as he recalled the night they had said goodbye, the night they had realized their love could never be.

They had known it was foolish of them, they truly had. But they let themselves be consumed in that fiery passion that lovers share.

It was brief affair that ended abruptly one warm summer evening. Reality had come crashing down on their heads and they said farewell.

Spot clenched his fists as his mind insisted that they could have made it work. They could have run away together; they could have found a way somehow…. If only they had been together everything would have been all right.

In a way, he had still believed that they had never said goodbye.

Nothing could have prepared him for the invitation that had lain so innocently on the scratched wood of his desk. The wedding invitation.

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God help me see

The way to let you go

I do not want you

And still you steal each breath I'm breathing

From me

With just a touch

You overcome me

And I let you

Curling on his side he hugged the pillow to his chest. A chill air danced across his skin as he realized he could not force himself to somehow stamp out that day and that pain and horrible longing.

He could not just un-remember what he felt. It wasn't possible.

He could never forget.

A breath of air escaped Spot's lips and a name floated away from his face and into the room beyond. A whispered name, so soft that he almost didn't hear himself call it out.

"Jack."

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I will forget you

When I die

I will forget you

I will forget you


End file.
